Building Stakeholder Relationships
Turning new stakeholder meetings as an opportunity to create solid partnerships
I'm sure we all started this skill by winging it. Much goes into building relationships at work, like communication, negotiation, and emotional intelligence. Yet, most of us only get better after years of trying, learning, and improving. Noticing this pattern in others and myself made me wonder if there is a repeatable way to build these professional relationships almost always.
That's the question I asked myself months ago when I realized everyone involved in building products should learn over time. But where do we start? Let me introduce you to the stakeholder principles.
These are based on +10 years and +70 projects of stakeholder management. How you kick-start, maintain, and grow your stakeholder relationships will heavily depend on the context of your work. Still, I hope these principles can spark some ideas to take action and enjoy collaborating with others.
1. Shared language
This might seem too obvious but think about this for a moment: If a musician suddenly started talking about the songwriting process as it would typically go with a fellow musician, chances are you will only understand a low percentage of it. Each profession and industry has unique idioms and jargon to communicate with others. Even within organizations, there are acronyms you have to learn to collaborate more efficiently, like when I realized that a "TDP” stands for "Title Detail Page” at my current job.
See where am I going with this? Having a shared language is more than just speaking English; it's about making sure you understand what the other person wants to say and ensuring that, in return, you do just as well. If the other person hasn't worked with a designer before, avoid unnecessary jargon if you can, or if you're an engineer working with a non-technical stakeholder, explain what an API is before blurting it out as if you're talking with one of your pals.
Empathy and clarity go a long way; make questions when necessary and double-check for unknown words you might unconsciously have in your communication.
2. Clear expectations
Once you have a shared language and you're both understanding but also making yourself clear, comes the part of understanding what's expected from you and explaining what you are hoping to achieve just as well.
Raise your hand if you have proudly delivered a project only to hear the dreaded words, "This is not what I expected”? 🙋🏻♀️
I have been in that situation early in my career, so I include the question, "What does success look like to you?” in one way or another during the first conversation or briefing. Until you answer the question, your perception of success will depend on your personal experience and context. However, you still need to understand what the other person expects to meet them halfway.
3. Trust to deliver
Finally comes the most challenging part, which is crucial to building lasting stakeholder relationships. Just as it would happen with any other human connection, you start without trust. You give or are given the benefit of the doubt, but until further proof arises, it's all in good faith.
Imagine going to a new doctor with dozens of diplomas on the wall; it must give you a sense of trust until you see any results from the treatment. Would you recommend this doctor to someone else in the future? I sure wouldn't.
That's what happens when trust is missing and why you should nurture it once it is obtained. You can be highly skilled, but without proof that you can be trusted for more challenging and impactful opportunities, a pile of certifications doesn't matter.
Putting it into practice, in a nutshell
Don't be "business talk” only; leverage the power of casual conversations to connect and pave the road for work-related topics.
If possible, avoid jargon and pick the appropriate communication channels to enable collaboration.
Be prepared to talk about expectations early on with an open mind; the sooner you have clarity on that, the sooner you'll be able to assess whether or not you're fit for the task.
Use every conversation to review and adjust the content and communication; focusing on quality over quantity is better to cut through the noise.
Find ways to be helpful without expecting something in return while keeping your word if you commit to something.
When asking, frame the request around the other person's needs and goals to get an easier buy-in.
As you can see, each principle is built on the foundation of the previous one:
But they're also cyclical because, like what happens in video games, you'll reach milestones to level up:
The more you build trust, the higher the stakes to take more significant challenges on missions that wouldn't be handed to just anyone.
Parting Thoughts
Building stakeholder relationships is a natural process you must go through every time you meet someone new; it's unavoidable. Rushing it only leads to mistakes or, even worse, undermines the progress you've made so far. However, if you practice these principles, it'll become more manageable with every new stakeholder you encounter.
Learning shortcuts
The Magic Loop by Ethan Evans
Guest post on Lenny's Newsletter, sharing a proven framework to grow at a companyGetting buy-in for your ideas by Shivani Berry
Tactics to avoid common pitfalls in the process of getting buy-in for your ideasHow to get an enthusiastic yes by Wes Kao
Making the ask about the other person, not youAnalog tools for visible listening by Sean Voisen
Hand-written meeting notes can have a meaningful impact in communication
It's always more fun to learn with others than doing it alone, so don't hesitate to reach out on Threads @laurieesc if you want to continue the conversation. If this article has been helpful, share it with a friend!
Over and out,
Laura ✌️